How I work with you:
What we're accomplishing together:
Marriage is a complex, dynamic, powerful relationship that requires the best of us has the potential to bring the best out of us in service of doing what is best for us. Marriage is not like Honda...if your new vehicle breaks down you take to the shop and expect that they'll replace the faulty part and off you'll go. Marriage is more like an ecosystem you must nurture at the top of a mountain you must climb. As we get better at understanding the flow of energy and beliefs and behaviors within us and how those behaviors affect the relationship between us, we can harness that energy to move the flow in the direction we want to go...up the mountain to cultivate something beautiful!
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I have designed my approach to marital therapy and marriage training around the assumption that getting your marriage to where you want it to be is a developmental process. I use the analogy of mountain climbing to capture the essence of what is needed to get to the top where you want to be.
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How we get there:
The therapy and training I provide is characterized by:​
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Sessions in which I listen closely to all that is fully going on between you, within you, around you, and ahead of you.
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Actively guiding you in those sessions to have the conversations you need to have, in the way you need to have them to promote connection, instead of conflagration or shutdown.
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Giving you targeted exercises, practices, readings, and support between sessions to augment and solidify the connections promoted within session.
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Continual monitoring of micro-level metrics of marriage to tailor our approach to your situation.
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Providing deeper support to help you not only fix problems, but grow in long-term strength and breadth to have an optimal marriage.
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Ways people access my services:
Ongoing sessions with no pre-set number of sessions or time frame (most common): Begin meeting with me and organically work on what is most pressing and dig deep for a long enough period of time to stabilize, repair, change, solidify, and grow into a new way of being with one another. This format is best for couples who want to just open up and do some intense work and are comfortable proceeding into the work with a plan to slow sessions to a stop over time.
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Structured but Flexible Programs: If you want to make a specific commitment to a pre-determined number of sessions and cost over a certain period of time, pick one of my Programs. Works best for 1) super busy people, 2) couples not at risk for immediate dissolution of the relationship, and/or 3) couples who don't think they need the intensity of ongoing sessions, but want the expert tailoring of a process to their situation as opposed to a more generic resource such as a single self-help book or educational curricula.
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Intensive Offerings: These offerings are for couples who are in a more heightened need for help such as a recent crisis within or around the marriage or have long-standing marriage issues. It is also for those who have issues such as trauma, substance use or other compulsive behaviors, significant threat to life due to occupation, suffered serious child or spousal abuse in the past, or have serious medical conditions that exacerbate your psychological suffering and relationship difficulties.
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